twistedviper: whorusszahhak: perfectionistdia: whorusszahhak: don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you. thatS REALLY...
When you get caught picking your nose...
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
dontnuts: if you have an outie belly button im sorry
am i in love or am i horny
When you see someone you don’t want to talk to
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
i’d like to formally apologize to anyone i’ve disappointed with my terrible friendship skills
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the...– Stephen R. Covey (via perfect)
laugh-addict: my mom once told me that writing your feelings down or drawing them out is very therapeutic and relaxing
misspelling your own name
insert-awesome-title-here: jensensparkles: adrimnzr: ruffalowildwings: lilcalcifer: we found love in a mildly disappointing place now you’re just somebody that i know by first name tonight, we are average age i walk this fairly populated road carry on my adequately well-adjusted son
nevvzealand: i was on a diet for a month and all i lost was 30 days